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Rachel's Ruminations: ‘Attached’ gives good guidance for healthy relationships

The book explores different types of attachment and how understanding them can help resolve couples' conflict.

Penguin, 2020; Penguin, 2012; Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group, 2010; Henry Holt and Company (BYR), 2021

‘Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love’

A family member undergoing a divorce highly recommended this book to me. She found it helpful for closure on what went wrong in her marriage and how to successfully navigate upcoming adventures in the dating world.

I found this book by Amir Levine, M.D. and Rachel S.F. Heller, M.A. as fascinating and informative as “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. The book also resonated with me because we raised our daughter using the attachment parenting theory, and it only makes sense that attachment theory also pertains to adulthood.

The author discusses the dependency paradox: “If you want to take the road to independence and happiness, find the right person to depend on and travel down it with that person.”

There are three attachment types: anxious, secure, and avoidant. Levine and Heller provide thorough guidance on how to determine your own and other’s attachment styles, which is integral to understanding your needs in your primary relationship.

The authors provide methods for effective communication and principles for resolving conflict. In the epilogue they do a fantastic job of dispelling some romantic philosophy myths.


I enjoyed this book from start to finish and rate it a solid 5/5 stars; anyone in a monogamous relationship can derive benefit from reading this book.

‘Meditations from the Mat: Daily Reflections on the Path of Yoga’

This little gem written in 2002 by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison has been on my to-read list for a few years, and I happened upon it recently at a bookstore while I was picking up some other books I had special ordered.

This book is a perfect gift for any yogi in your life. It contains 365 meditations for daily guidance on how to incorporate mindfulness into their wellness journey.

‘Fire Keeper’s Daughter’

My daughter Cascade gifted me this YA book by Angeline Boulley and it just may be the best book I read in 2021 – do not let the YA category deter you! It reminded me of a very sophisticated Nora Roberts novel, combining romance and suspense while also incorporating Anishinaabe culture.

“Fire Keeper’s Daughter” is perfect for a book club discussion. This treasure will make a delightful present for many readers on your holiday list; I sent my copy to my niece in the Twin Cities.

‘All Adults Here’

I read this book for a November book club; I generally prefer plot-driven books, but this complicated character-driven book is the exception to that rule. I was hooked from the first page with a very intriguing yet awkward opening and fascinating ongoing internal monologues.

Prominent themes in this book include birth order, bad choices, secrets, family, parenthood, guilt, apologies, multi-generational LGBTQIA+, forgiveness, honesty, difficult conversations, universal truths, abortion, fertility – the list goes on and on.

I definitely plan to read other family-saga novels by Emma Straub – just what I need, more books to add to my to-read list!


Rachel Oppitz has lived in Park Rapids with her husband, daughter and dog since 2006. She is a naturopathic doctor and owns Itasca Naturopathic Clinic in Park Rapids and Bemidji. In her spare time, she loves to read, workout with friends, play games, do jigsaw puzzles, camp, hike, bike, canoe, travel, do guided meditations on Insight Timer, try new recipes, listen to music and journal.

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