I was in this waiting room waiting for my appointment. The magazines were mostly out of date and on subjects that weren't of much interest to me - autos, diabetes, cooking and big game hunting. Taking the least disinteresting, I selected the big game hunting magazine and was flipping through the pages.
I found this ad that promised that I could "raise the octane" of my aftershave. The product advertised is called Athena Pheromone 10X. It cites the experience of Jack in California reordering another vial of 10X. Jack says, "I am ordering another vial of 10X because it works! I am in the film business and so I am around a lot of attractive women. A lot of them are touchy-feely, but those who weren't normally, became touchy-feely. Becky, for example, shocked me. She came up behind me and put her arms around me and said into my ear: 'What is it about you?!' Since I started with the 10X, some women get really more aggressive. Thank you."
The instructions are that you pour a vial of 1/6 ounce into 2 to 4 ounces of your aftershave or fragrance. Worn daily, it lasts four to six months.
The best part of the ad is that this magic formula costs only $99.50.
I confess that I didn't order any 10X so I don't know how it works. But, if one 1/6 ounce costs me $99.50, a full gallon (128 ounces) would come to $76,416.00. You could almost fuel a rocket ship to the moon for $76,416.00.
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I checked the definition of pheromone. It is "a chemical substance produced and released into the environment by an animal, especially a mammal or an insect affecting behavior or physiology of others of its species.
There is an old saying: "If something seems almost too good to be true, it probably is." For that reason, I became suspicious.
Then I checked to see about human pheromones. According to LiveScience Magazine, animals use pheromones to communicate non-verbally, transmitting chemical signals through the air. The purpose is often related to mating or defense of territory. But half a century after the discovery of pheromones in animals, scientists have yet to conclusively identify such chemicals in humans, so the jury is still out.
That raises the question of whether Athena Pheromone 10X is a magic love potion or 1/6 ounce of snake oil.
The term snake oil has come to refer to any liniment product of questionable benefit, and any person who knowingly sells a fraudulent product is a called a snake oil salesman. Snake oil first came to this country, along with Chinese workers, who came here to work on the First Transcontinental Railroad. It was a traditional folk remedy to rub on the skin to treat arthritis and bursitis and about any other claimed medical problem. I am looking at a picture of the label of Clark Stanley's Snake Oil Liniment. It claims relief from rheumatism, sciatica, lame back, lumbago, sprains, frostbite, sore throat, bites from animals, insects and reptiles, and "good for everything a liniment is good for" and "immediate relief" for man and beast. Clark Stanley was known as the "Rattlesnake King." His liniment was tested in 1917 by the U.S. Government and found to contain mineral oil, 1 percent fatty oil, red pepper, turpentine and camphor - no snake oil. He was fined $20.00.
Snake oil salesmen often pedaled their products door-to-door and called themselves "doctor." They also sold out of tents at traveling circuses and carnivals, supporting their claims with phony evidence or planted shills in the crowd who claimed miraculous recoveries. By the time the customers realized they had been cheated, the "doctor" and his shill were out of town and beyond reach.
I have never used Athena Pheromone 10X and I have never been hugged from behind by a gorgeous Becky who whispered, "What is it about you?" And I don't claim that 10X is snake oil. But, I've been around the block a few times and if something sounds too good to be true, well...I wouldn't pay $99.50 for frostbite relief or $76,416.00 for a lifetime supply of anything.
Am I too cautious? Recently, when my grandson, Half-Nelson, called me. I demanded that he give me his birthdate before I allowed him to ask me any questions. But if you need more attention from girls and an occasional hug from behind, go for it. But if you are a big game hunter, that hug from behind just might be a grizzly bear.
